There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
