Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize