let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize