wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
