I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
