i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
this boner is exhausting
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
