i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
