Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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