nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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