no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
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