we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
