Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
