Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize