I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
