i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
