You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
