I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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