Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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