'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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