it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
