I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
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just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
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it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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