there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
