Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
When are your genitals available?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize