I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
