I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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