So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
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I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
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Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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