I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
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this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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