TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
