And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize