is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
