either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
