I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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