is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
