You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
