Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
