I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
