i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
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I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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