You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
