That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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