Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
