You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
