i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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