I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
