i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
