Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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