I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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