There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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