wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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