Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
