They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
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