you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
