you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
All the doctor said was why
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize