Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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