Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
