I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
