it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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