my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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