if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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