I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
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