so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
how drunk are you?
Several
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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